Recently, I discovered the “Daily Post.” It is a blog site that offers a prompt idea a day hosted by none other than the folks right here at WordPress. I have never taken part in any of the prompts, usually because I have something else I want to write about, however, today’s challenge intrigued me. The challenge is to write a letter to my fourteen year old self.
I’d like to start off by saying I am very proud of you. You have blossomed into an amazing young lady. It bothers me how hard you are on yourself. Stop comparing yourself to others and look what you have to offer: you are a good friend to people, you care, you make people laugh, and you are sincere. Best of all, you do not give in to pettiness. You do not say caddy comments about others, and I know people respect you because you are genuine and real. What I like the most is that you are charismatic. You don’t see it in yourself, I often think you see yourself as shy, but you are not. People are drawn to you, and you are going to make some amazing friends over the next twenty years. You are lucky.
I also want to tell you that I am proud of you for not defining yourself by your family’s situation. So many kids with an alcoholic parent crumble. They use it as an excuse to do poorly in school, to crawl into a shell, or to become disruptive and disrespectful. How many times do you hear, “Oh, she has it hard at home,” but that is nothing more than an excuse. You do not allow yourself to be defined by your difficult home life. You are strong. You walk out of the house each day and you have perspective. You know that you have to work hard to make your life the best you can be. You know that your mother struggles with a disease, and you have faith in God that she will one day quit drinking for good. She will, and you will have moved your own life forward positively because you would not wallow in self-pity for having it rough.
If I could give you advice I would say to let a few people in. You have real friends, friends who care. If you are having a particularly rough day, share it; they may not have a solution for you, but they can offer you a hug. Hugs help. I think if you let a few people in you would not feel like you have to find something to control. You are going to struggle with bulimia for ten years if you do not open up. It’s okay to allow people to know that you sometimes feel weak. No one lives a perfect life.
Here is my advice: Relish every day, whether good or bad. As hard as it is at times, it is a good life. These days are going to go quickly, and then you are going to wake up one day and be 42. Most of the bad memories will have faded away. Spend more time with Mom when she is normal. Help her cook dinner. Get Dad to open up more. Take more pictures with them; someday, you will be sad you do not have enough pictures. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Revel in your growth. Learn from your mistakes. Kiss boys. Take more chances. Don’t be afraid. Don’t second guess yourself. Stop feeling guilty. Look in the mirror and like what you see. Be happy! Live life, Enjoy.
Yourself in 28 years.