Tag Archives: MIscellaneous

The End of the School Year

Around this time of year, I start feeling sentimental.

I look at the faces of my students as they finish their last days of the school year and I know all they are thinking is, “I cannot wait for what comes next!”  They are planning their near futures, and they are not in the moment, and I suddenly feel sad.  Even though I see 127 students a day, I find that I have made a connection, on some level, with almost all of them.  As with every year, I end this year knowing I have a strong bond with a few of the students with whom I have grown particularly fond of, and I hope that they are the type of people who will think that staying in touch with a former teacher is not too nerdy.

Today, at two different points, I found myself just taking them in.  It is something I do with my own children, when I just stop and allow myself experience the people they have become.  It’s always at a time when they are experiencing something and my heart says, “Stop.  Look.  Breath this moment in.  Remember it.  Store it away.  You have helped mold these people.”  I cannot help but smile because I am, as they say, living in the moment, and I am undeniably happy just to be alive and had had the opportunity to experience them.  Today, I forced myself to take a mental snapshot– to remember their faces, their smiles, and their personalities.

For my students, these moments in high school are just the stepping-stones and the building blocks to get them into real life.  For me, though, it’s different.  These moments are my life, and over the course of 180 days, I have gotten to know them not only as students, but as people.

We have shared stories and shared memories.  We have inside jokes.  I have heard the gossip, and every once in a while, I have taken part in on the conversation.  I have gotten over the fact that they walked through my classroom door thinking I was some uncool, middle-aged woman.   They have grown as people and have come to realize that age is relative, and I have to think that some of them feel the way I do: If we were the same age, we would be friends.

I know that many of these students will be nothing more than fond memories.  Every once in a while, I will hear about one of them, and think, “Wow, So and So has a job now.”  “So and So is getting married!”  “So and So is having a baby!”  I will, from the distant past, cheer their victories.

Yes, the next few days are the hardest part of the year.  These people with whom I have forged relationships are going to be quite literally ripped out of my life.  It’s like a divorce, and it makes me maudlin and reminiscent.  I have only been a part of their lives for an hour a day for a school year.   It is nothing to most, but it is something to me, and like any good mother bird, I have to let go and watch them fly away from my comfortable nest so that they can continue to grow into the amazing adults I envision them becoming.

I Am a Scaredy Cat.

So, I am kind of a scaredy cat.  Okay, I’m lying; I am a total scaredy cat!  It happens because I over think everything.  I dream about the perfect scenario and then my mind does a somersault, and I am stuck somewhere between reality and a hellish-dimension of “what if.”

Because of this paranoia, I cannot watch scary movies.  You will not see me pulling up The Exorcist, End of Days, or Blair Witch Project anytime soon on The Que.  Yes, I have seen these movies, and countless others for that matter, but I do everything in my power not to think about them.

It has gotten to the point where I cannot watch anything even remotely dark.  A few years back Tom made me watch The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers, and I had nightmares for weeks.  I have pretty much decided I need to live out my days in the land of humor and good drama.

All that being admitted, Tom is traveling for a few days for work.  He has traveled before, and usually I am so very busy and so very tired that I do not have time to allow my mind to go to a dark place.  Usually, by the time I get the kids ready for bed, make lunches, do some laundry, and any necessary household chores, I hit the pillow and fall into a deep angelic sleep.

However, yesterday, Lizzie and Maggie were ill and missed school.  Lizzie had not broken her fever before she went to bed, so I knew there was a chance she would not go to school again today.  Because I was probably going to have to miss work today, I did a little extra laundry and stayed awake to watch a DVR’d episode of The Americans.  I knew I would not have to wake at 5:30 AM as I was originally planning, but at a leisurely 6:30 AM to get the other two off to school.

Anyway, Lizzie went to sleep at 8:30PM.  At 9:30 PM, she awoke sweaty and uneasy.  I knew she needed some place cooler to sleep, so I sent her into our bedroom.  We basically live in the attic, so on top of the whole house air conditioning that pumps into our room, we have a room air conditioner to additionally help cool our room.  Also, with Tom out-of-town, our king bed would be plenty of room for the two of us.

At 11:00 PM she was complaining of a headache and wanted water.  At 11:30 PM when I went up to join her in our bed, she was fitful but asleep.  I crawled in on my side and tried to doze off. To no avail.

At 12:15 AM, she sat up.

“Lizzie, are you okay?” I asked.

“I want to sleep in my bed,” she said groggily.  She grabbed her blanket and went downstairs.  Our dog Linus followed.  He usually sleeps with me in our room, but I have noticed that when one of the kids is sick, he likes to lie on their floor and watch over them.

Again, I tried to doze.

At 1:05 AM, Linus barked.  It wasn’t a meager “Woof Woof” either.  It was a full force-I-am-creating-fear “Wooooooof!  Woof-Woof-Woof-Woof- Woooooooooof!”

I jumped.  And then I panicked.  What if someone was trying to get in the house?  What if someone was outside one of the doors?  What if someone was somehow in the house and Linus was warning me?  My mind immediately went to that made for TV movie from the eighties where the babysitter does not realize there is a second line in the house and someone keeps pranking her about killing her and the kids, but the guy is actually in the house and is ready to bludgeon her to death.

Of course, I flipped on my room light and the hall light and tore down the steps.  I checked all three girls.  They were all sleeping peacefully.  Linus was standing in the living room staring at me, wagging his tail.  “What?  Why did you bark like that?” I asked him.  I wanted an answer, and I wanted it now! He ran to the side door; he wanted to go out.

Now, my next fear came alive.  Linus had barked because he had heard an intruder, and he himself wanted to investigate.  My fear was that the intruder was lurking in the shadows between my car and the neighbor’s house, and the second I opened the side door, he would storm my little fortress with an oozie or a machete and immediately kill me.

I flipped on the kitchen lights, the other hall light, and the outside light before I even thought about opening the door.  I took a deep breath and said a quick prayer to God to keep us safe.  I opened the door quickly and with determination, maybe to surprise my would-be assailant and warn him that I was not afraid.

Needlesstosay, no one was there.  I hooked Linus to his chain, and he went in the backyard and did his business.  Two minutes later, he came back in, looked at me, and headed up the steps.  It was time for bed and all.

I turned out all of the lights, returned to my room, and pretty much slept with one eye open for the rest of the night.  Like I said, I am a scaredy cat.  Hopefully, the exhaustion will kick in and I will get a good nights sleep tonight.

Why My Marriage Works

I have been told that I have a relationship that many people envy.  Tom and I are happy together, really happy, and for whatever reason, our marriage is sometimes the topic of conversation.

Recently, a new acquaintance said to me, “You compliment each other perfectly.  It is obvious you are truly happy together.” I was flattered.  “How do you do it?  What’s the magic?” she asked.

Well, it really isn’t magic.  It’s agreement.

  • Neither of us is a jealous person, so when the other wants to go to drinks with co-workers after work, neither thinks the other is cheating.
  • We are both natural flirts, so it does not bother either of us when we catch the other in conversation with the opposite sex.
  • We parent together.
  • We make major decisions together.
  • We celebrate each other’s accomplishments.
  • We encourage each other’s dreams.
  • We work together and play together.
  • And most importantly, we laugh– together, at each other, at each other’s expense– it does not matter; we laugh.

What makes our relationship magical?

This Does!

The start of our texting about the night's plans.

The start of our texting about the night’s plans.

Not realizing that auto correct and slippery fingers left my original message unintelligible.

Not realizing that auto correct and slippery fingers left my original message unintelligible.

And when I responded, "Funny," I meant it. I actually snorted in line and Target. That's right, people turned around and stared.

And when I responded, “Funny,” I meant it. I actually snorted in line at Target. That’s right, people turned around and stared.

Yep.  It’s love.